The Universe does not know the difference between bad and good.
Especially when you read books or blogs about manifesting wishes and thoughts, you can't get by all the warnings to think carefully what it is you wish for. For the Universe does not differenciate between bad and good.
And you might ask yourself. How is that possible? It's should be quite simple! But is it?
We people tend to polarize our world. Me being an ex-Borderliner, know especially much about a polarized view on life. When we observe nature, however, notice for example, how an ending is never really an ending. It is, in fact, a new beginning. Sunsets give way to a starlighted night, which gives way to the sunrise. A storm gives way to silence and vice versa. And so the cycle continues. A lion who kills his prey, does it make the lion bad? Of course not. It's nature.
But people, you might argue, are different. We have a choice and a responsibility. And a person who abuses the people he/she loves, who steals or kills for fun. Surely, that is sinning, no? Here, I admit even I find it hard not to categorize. And obviously there are limits of moral obligation that should not be crossed. All I can say is that the "sinning" person is probably hurt (maybe even beyond "repair", blocked off his heart and has some serious karmic debts to pay off. And this is where, in my experience, the heavy and the light come in.
According to the Q'ero, direct descendants of the Inca, the energies are divided into heavy and light. Neither are good or bad, however, we humans are not meant to take much of the heavy for a prolonged time. Sadness, worry, anger, hate, shame...all these emotions are heavy emotions that are useful to us for learning or evolving ourselves. But they should be let go eventually. And Mother Earth is there to help us. Just like we expel CO2 as "waste" that the trees absorb, use and in turn expell oxygen as their "waste" for us to use, in the same way Mother Earth takes our heavy energies (mixed with our gratitude) and returns the favor by giving us love.
I tried this meditation and I must say, it was wonderful.
Helping me through the Storm
Let me tell you how I came across and experienced it:
2019 was a very heavy year. I was mourning my mother's death, I dedicated all my time and energy in making sure I do everything to make sure my dad would get well, I was battling with my Borderline symptoms all at the same time as trying to gain back the 80 workhours I owed my employer for missing so many workdays (to attend to my sick mother). Meanwhile I plunged into a quest to evolve spiritually as much as possible, learning the ways of reiki and energy healing. I was determined that I will not stand by helpless while another person I love suffers. Being at the mercy of the emotionless inhumane modern health system while my mother was dying shall never happen again. And to make it all worse, the only outlet I had for all the heavy weight I was carrying was either in myself or my boyfriend. The love I felt for him was so strong, that I worked so hard on myself until I literally became diagnosed as "borderline-free" and must say I'm very proud of how I handled situations. But things accumulate and the hurt I caused placed an additional huge burden on my relationship (in addition to his inner demons). You can imagine what he went through and when it reached its climax, we went on a silent war over Christmas and New Years. Shortly after he broke up (by email) while I was away and moved out, not looking back once.
I know for myself that I would have never survived this situation two years ago. Crying every day, vomiting the little I ate, diarrhea, intense panick attacks and insomnia. I am still an emotional person and even if my mind is still, my body reacts intensely to these situations. I have reached rock bottom. The man I loved who swore on forever and wrote a Christmas letter vowing to work on us together broke up by text two weeks later. Not borderline anymore just means I learned a healthy way of channeling my heavy emotions. But the emotions are still there and intense, especially when it is about my (then) biggest fears of abandonment - talk about manifesting (!). This might have been the challenge to my "ex-Borderline" diagnosis and
I am forever grateful that I was by then reiki master, good at yoga and meditation and surrounded by loving family. I was ready for this.
Reading a book about the Q'ero traditions by Elizabeth B. Jenkins (thank you so so much), I came across an interesting meditation to clear of heavy energies. I gave this meditation a try - I had nothing to lose. I still cry and feel sad. I remember moments where I made my mother smile. I still feel guilty at times and ashamed for how I hurt my partner in my self-hating borderline frenzy. But this meditation helped me live on, digest the heavies and let them go.
It took a large weight off my shoulders. I reconnected more powerfully than ever with nature and could actually feel how alI the accumulation of the heavies is lifted off. I could concentrate on just the day by day emotions and take them one by one. So how does it go?
Inkan Nature Contemplation: Saminchakuy
It is best if you are outside, lying on the grass or on the beach. It doesn't change the effectiveness of the excercise, but it does feel nicer when you have the light breeze in your hair and can hear the birds chirp. So, whereever you are, make yourself comfortable. Either sit on a chair or lie down. Make sure you won't get too cold or too hot.
Concentrate on your breathing. No matter how fast or slow, don't pressure yourself. Just breathe. And with every inhale become aware of life all around you. And all the energy surrounding you. In the trees, in the earth, in the water underground, in the sun, in the air. Be mindful of exhaling your carbon dioxide with gratitude as a gift to nature and breathe in with gratitude the oxygen naure gives back.
Continue your awareness of your surroundings. Feel the energy.
Now, imagine above you the beautiful dark starfilled sky. The entire universe is above you. Picture the crown of your head opening and invite loving light energy to flow into you from the universe, filling up every single cell in your body. There are different ways people perceive it. Some feel heat or cold. Others feel a light pressure. I personally feel a tingling sensation. Become aware of that sensation.
When you feel filled, imagine your foot chakras opening and feel all your heavy energies flowing through your body out through your feet into Earth. Make sure to mix your heavy energies with true gratitude. Feel how all your sorrows and pains and worries and anger flows through your body and out. Gratefully, Mother Earth can compost them and disperse them easily.
Inkan Nature Contemplation: Saywachakuy
When you give, you receive. This is the law. Invite and accept the gifts with gratitude. You have the right to it. You deserve it.
Imagine then Earth giving back to you her loving energies through your feet. Feel it fill your body. Mix it with your own special and unique love and gratitude. And forward this energy to the Universe through your crown.
And so the cycle is closed. You have become a conduit between Heaven and Earth.
Try it! How did it make you feel?